| Help needed! |
[5.9.09 - 1.36am] |
It's kinda silly, but I keep hearing this song on the radio or something. It's a girl singing and a guy rapping in some parts. And the deejay always calles it takeda boy or take out boy or something like that... I WANNA KNOW WHAT SONG THIS IS???
It's probably a local song, or from around the Asia regions, coz there are some references.
Someone help?
Me
|
|
|
[4.30.09 - 11.33am] |
wasted in my inequity
lost in my words
that tumble
and toss me into
the hurricane of
overt turmoi
rocked in the lull
of unforgiving
practicality
i know it
will be all okay
once i
see you
|
|
| What do you do... |
[3.25.09 - 12.39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
when the ONLY place you have to escape to in times fo troubles, turns into a place you need to escape FROM?
I'm so tired.
I need a break.
And on top of that... sick... once again. At least my MC today is helping a bit.
Me
"Do it again...?"
|
|
| Ever heard of Paul Dateh? |
[2.14.09 - 1.46am] |
Yeah... you should go check him out.
Because I will have his babies anytime.
*ahem* Maybe I shouldn't say that out loud. Or on the Internet for that matter.
Me
|
|
| Trolls |
[2.3.09 - 10.42am] |
Troll Alert!!
Due to the extreme popularity of my journal (*titters*) My journal has been hit by a troll attack. It's mostly one rather sad troll, whom I suspect is probably just a loser. *shrugs* But he/she's pretty persistent. And apparently not just doing it to me.
So... due to this fact, I can only accept comments from registered users. Whom I can ban as and when I wish. It only takes me 3 secs to ban the monkey, but it'll take a qhile for he/she to create a new account. So yeah...
Anyway, for the rest of you who are wondering where I've been... I've been well... barely alive.
So lay on the love, y'all.
Me
|
|
| Not dead yet... |
[1.4.09 - 4.58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
I didn’t hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don’t want to move a thing
It might change my memory
 Something about melancholy or sentimentality resonates within me. Sometimes I think all I live for is pain. And the revelry of being able to suffer it silently. It’s about standing under the streetlamp at the corner of the street café, sobbing relentlessly and sliding to a squat. The scene of facial contortions, desperate to stop, but needing to express it far more desperately. It’s no longer the miracle of Christmas. This year, there wasn’t enough of that. I won’t scoff at that.
I don’t know if you know what I mean.
Oh I am what I am
I’ll do what I want
But I can’t hide
I won’t go
I won’t sleep
I can’t breathe
Until you’re resting here with me
It’s one of those über pretentious angsty novels that make you want to crawl under the blankets and never come out again. Sure we whine about it in social circles or demean ourselves by needlessly declaring our emotions via Facebook or MSN. Sure we put on that fake smile and let our lives be governed by copious amounts of gothic poetry. What about that squeezing of tears in the theatre. Emo hairstyles notwithstanding.
There were ups and there were downs. Somehow the ups are forgotten and only the downs drag us even lower. It’s no wonder that some of us have given up on love. Sex sells, but sometimes I think depression sells better. Nevermind the orgasm, bring on the tearstains.
I won’t leave
I can’t hide
I cannot be
Until your resting here with me
It won’t be easy to let you go. It’s never easy when the idea of you alone is nested so confortable in the palm of my hands. It just… fits. Like the song that sends shivers down your spine. It’s just… right. It just won’t be easy.
When I think back on the times when I could have shoved you out the door and wished you for dead. Sometimes I think those were the moments that defined us. The squalid actions that broke through the surface and revealed us for who we were.
I don’t want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can’t leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that’s been
You let me turn to you. In the comfort of drugged dreams we didn’t matter anymore. I don’t want to wake. Sometimes I think I have never woken up. Sometimes.
Yeah. Sometimes.
Oh I am what I am
I’ll do what I want
But I can’t hide
I won’t go
I won’t sleep
I can’t breathe
Until youre resting here with me
It’s a new year now. And the partying is over. The year ended with no spectacle. No big bangs or lighted skies. As the night draws to a close, the comfort of cushions and soft jazzy music once again surrounds us. Me. I can imagine how long it’ll take for me to survive another year. Another lifetime. Without you.
But perhaps, for me, that’ll another miracle to celebrate.
I won’t leave
I can’t hide
I cannot be
Until your resting here with me
- Dido, here with me
|
|
| This song.... survives me. |
[11.22.08 - 3.08am] |
And yeah... I want a voice like Jon's. Wait. I mean Jon Mclaughlin. *nods*
Thanks. Not dead yet.
Me
"I know you're beating my heart..."
|
|
| Lord... |
[11.4.08 - 11.17pm] |
I am going to sleep now.
From this point on, I can't be bothered anymore. AT ALL. EVER.
So whatever YOU want, YOU do. I am no longer going to be passionate or think about loyalty, and all that kinda bullshit.
IT NEVER WORKS OUT ANYWAY~!
F*ck.
Me
"Amen."
|
|
| Dot dot dot |
[10.19.08 - 3.27pm] |
the last time i wrote
a song i wrote
a ballad for you
a song that would
be ours alone
and noone else's
but you tore
the manuscript
and broke the quill
that set us down in
melodies
and chose instead
to smear the ink
with our tears
so now i write
instead a pity-tale
of our broken tree house
and let our songs
fade away
to replace our
shining light
for immaculation
unadulterated sweet dreams
Me
"Waiting for tonight..."
|
|
| *sigh* |
[7.26.08 - 9.54pm] |
Sakamoto Ryuichi's Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence makes me happy... and sad both at once.
If anyone would be so kind to send me the mp3 or whatever I'll be indefinitely grateful.
Yeah, that's all. I think there's a certain jaded feeling that I can't seem to express.
Ta.
Me
|
|
| Where have I Been?? |
[5.8.08 - 10.12pm] |
Well. It's Mother's Day on Sunday.
And if you have not bought your flowers yet...
YES! EDEN BLOOMS HAVE GOT THE CARNATIONS FOR YOU.
For either Carnations bouquets, or rose bouquets or a mixture of both, the following are the prices.
6 stalks $40.
12 stalks $65.
24 stalks $100.
All prices include delivery.
SUPPORT ME YEAH!!!
Yeah.
Ciao.
Me
|
|
| Let's see now... |
[3.9.08 - 8.09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
Over the alst week...
- Broke my glasses
- Got scolded by theboss for SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO
- Got scolded by customer
- Got cheated by a client
- Gotten some of the worst news in my life
- Lived with housemate's parents who are daily nagging me to move out
- Got numerous sacarstic comments from flatmate's siblings
- Got accused of stealing
- Got embarassed in front of a friend
- Made little to no progress with me life
- Got dropped y a headhunter
- Had a loan rejected
- Still have no idea what to do with my life
And on the home searching front...
Someone emailed me offering a room. A perfect room. In a house. With a Garden. And this someone apparently enjoys gardening and music as musch as I do. This someone also seems pretty nice a friendly and is quite open to negotiations about things. The only downside...
THE PLACE IS IN YEW TEE!!! *cries* I'm still considering it of couse. If only because I am desperate. And of course the things he is offering, gardening, cooking freedom, A HOUSE, is beyond tempting. What do I do? Yew Tee would mean the end to most of my activities. It'll be mostly home and work, work and home. And weekends... home. The computer will be my friend and access to the rest of the world. *sighs*
Why. WHY IS MY LIFE TURNING OUT LIKE THIS????
Me
"F*ck. I don't even curse much."
|
|
| I have to be honest... |
[3.7.08 - 11.30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore |
] |
I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Mostly because everything is pulling me in the opposite direction and it's thinning me out. Even the things I was SURE would be alright have turned out shittier than a pile of week old cow dung. Yes.
I've also been so occupied and busy and stretched that I have had little time for anything, honestly. I'm sorry to those I was supposed to have meals/coffee/movie/whatever with, because I have little time. It's been appointment after appointment, and all of it in the hope to get my life back on track. Part of me mourns the freedom. But I HAVE COME TO BLARDY FAR. I don't wanna give up. That would be beyond tragic. In fact I probably would have a hard time making it back.
Astrology and suchlike aside, I think I'm in a spate of really, really bad luck. I need to clease myself or whatever. I'm not very well versed in this, mostly because for most of my life I have chosen to believe God's good enough. These days, meh, not so much. I prayed. I asked for prayers. I have abstinence and all that. And part of me is tired of being tested. "There's always a reason for everything." does NOT work for me anymore. Yeah. I'm happy being a lovely brother to friends, but I've had enough. I'm close to my breaking point and even those hours which I dance my life away or whatever, aren't enough anymore.
Give me another week of this bullshit and I will really have had it.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Me
"Blah"
|
|
| *sighs* Freakily true. Even if I wish it wasn't. |
[3.6.08 - 1.16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
What Jonathan Khoo Means
|
You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
|
Me
"...it has been a very long life, God knows when it'll finally end..."
|
|
| Valentine's Day |
[2.3.08 - 11.54pm] |
 If anyone wants Valentine's flowers, do keep my florist in mind.
http://www.eden-blooms.com/wp/products-page/?category=1
These are the prices and if you tell me you're from LJ, you get a free bear to go with your bouquet. *grins* Gimme an emaill at skechid@gmail.com if you wanna order and I'll work it out for you ok?
Just respond here if ya need anything. Commends will be screened. Just in case your gf's are here too. *hurhurhur*
Support me? Pweeeese?
Me
|
|
| Well in a way... |
[1.22.08 - 12.07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Something Japanese by Ken Hirai |
] |
So yeah... I officially dedicate this entry to  ryan27 aka Ivan, who dedicated one to me a looong time ago, but I only JUST read. Like, yesterday. Because I AM that kinda fuckass. *facepalms*
Which is kinda sucky, because this entry's gonna NOT be good.
Okay, let's get the whining out of the way first. A few points of horridness for this period of time.
( Only if you really need to know. )
Okay. *deep breaths* That's done. So from this point on, it's dedicated to ryan27 aka Ivan. Knowing that I'll never write like you can, I'll try my very best nonetheless, and hope this cheers you up some. And perhaps, helps you remember when you, too, were less jaded. Less lost. Less hurt. Yeah. Something like that anyway.
So, here goes...
"Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our live be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side"
 Where do we start on a journey? A step or two. Prodded in the back by circumstances. Taking roads which seem interesting. Only to find out later why it was less traveled. Where do we start? When we conceptualise our destination? Or when we put that foot forward, and, get this, not slip on a banana peel.
"So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping youll see what your love means to me
Open arms
You and me, were strangers. We're two people. In the world, where anything goes, that counted as enough. You and me, we watched the sun go down at different times. Setting fire to the same bloody sky. Painting palettes of pink and orange. We laughed. Perhaps unknowingly at the same things. It seemed like the same things kept us good. And unjaded. Fried chicken. Glittery things. Woven storylines. The works. We were young. Lost in a whirlwind of circumstances that forced us to take the next step.
"Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
We grew up. Feeling so old. So wanton. You in your life of love. Me, in my world of business. They dared call us childish. Foolish mere mortals, beneath our ruckus. Pointing and laughing, they spun out of control. Wasting us in that frenzy that kept us in the air. Unwholesome and lost. Those vampish dreams that waited for our reality. We told each other to slow down. Sometimes watching each others world's through a paragraph that blazed across our minds. Wishing for that repose that maybe neither of us were meant to have. They called us mad, and still they laughed. But we took it up in stride. In that mad, childish journey that we had to complete. Taking a deep breath we walked on.
"But now that youve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay.
Where do we start. When do we end. The picture stills of our lives, intertwined yet never quite touching. In a conucopia of romantacized fairy tales, we chose to love and lose it. We dreamt the skyscrapers of what-could-be.This journey we take, lost in the rootbranches. But hell, who's to say? Perhaps by resting a while, we might find that little treasure we craved. Perhaps, then again not quite. Nonetheless, two strangers, on both sides of the world, on the same journey.. what a crazy life it's been. In a world where anything goes, maybe someday we'll meet and laugh our crazy laughs... and then remember the start of that journey... here again.
"So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping youll see what your love means to me
Open arms
- Open Arms by Journey
Me
"We were strangers, starting out on a journey..."
|
|
| Dang it.. |
[1.20.08 - 11.31pm] |
The stress and panicking and what not is taking its toll on me.
I'm having a pimple outbreak. I mean usually I don't really care... but THESE HURT. They ACTUALLY hurt. So I'm avoiding too much movement in the facial region coz every grimace, smirk or grin makes me wince. Which hurts too. *miserable*
In other news, I've decided to ignore people who give me stupidity either on LJ or MSN. If you dun like me, or don't wanna hear my misery, sorry, go away. Because I am SURROUNDED by misery and stress and panic and all that. So if you want me to stay positive and broadcast only positivity or whatever. Fuck off.
Me
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fearful_angel's journal